Normal

The whole time in my mid to late 20's and into my 30's I felt like I wasn't normal because all of my friends were getting married and having kids. And I wanted to be married. I was ready for it, capable of it and unsure as to why it wasn't happening. I can recall many nights lamenting to friends, asking why I wasn't normal. Why can't I just have a normal life? I'm okay with being bored at home on the couch on Thursday night with my husband. (I distinctly remember Ann telling me I COULD be married. That guy over there will marry you. But you don't want him. You have standards.)

But, when I look back at my life I see that I've pretty much never been normal and now I find myself still not feeling completely normal.

I was always big and tall. I haven't grown much since 5th grade in terms of height. My school photos from grade 5-8 have me in the middle riser to even out with the kids in the back riser. I am not joking.

Not normal.

I was a tom boy/jock type in high school. Never wore make up, did more than a pony tail, or wore women's clothes really. Just like jeans or tear away pants with a basketball t-shirt. (At the time they didn't really make pants in "long" anyways so I had to buy men's jeans.) Starting in about grade 4, I would come home from school and watch Oprah. I didn't stop until she went off the air. When Michael Jordan played his last game and retired I was home alone, thank God, and bawled my eyes out.

Not normal.

I went to university to be a teacher and feel like I never really had a good go at it having taught at schools where I didn't feel I was fully using my Education degree. So I went into post-secondary administration and then left that to go back to teaching pre-school for a year in Korea . . .  Who am I?

And so here I am, eloped to a man that my family or friends back home have never met (aside from video chats), moving away from the city where we met back to my hometown, where we will be apart for at least a few months, if not many, many months.

But you know what? I feel totally normal. I am so happy with what I have. I married Kenneth because I love him and he loves me but also because I knew it was right. We didn't NEED to get married when we did. We could have taken other measures, other routes to get where we want to be. But, we chose to get married because it felt normal. Many times after we got married he'd ask me how I felt and I'd say, "I just feel normal. I thought it would be this big grand thing with fireworks and excitement. But it just feels good." Typing that makes me sound like a real Debbie Downer, which is not what I mean. I don't need fireworks and puppies and rainbows shooting out of a cannon to feel loved. I get his security and strength and complete calm in any situation. That is what I need and what I have.

So normal.

Lots of love as I sign off for the last time from South Korea,

Alli

Year in Review 2.0

I was able to write a whole year in review without mentioning my actual job once. You'd think I came her to relax and have fun instead of work! If I had included my kiddos in the last blog it would have been way too long.

When I came back after Christmas break I couldn't believe how much taller they all had gotten. I bet they'd been growing all along, but not seeing them for 10 days really made me notice. Their puffy cheeks thinned out. They seemed to come back smarter! The biggest change I've seen this year is in Aaron who screamed and cried daily for the first two months to the point where he wasn't even in the classroom much. I was scared of him and he was scared of me. Eventually he just gave in and realized that no matter how much he screamed he'd still have to be at school. I will never forget the first day I gave him scissors. Letting 9 4-year olds hold scissors for the first time is daunting. And when one of them has as much energy as Aaron, it can be scary! We practiced cutting lines, circles, squiggles. They love to cut. Any time we do an activity they want to cut it out and glue it.

Now, Aaron is such a love bug it's amazing to see. I realized he wears his heart on his sleeve. If he's angry - he will let you know it. If he's happy - he will be all over you with so much joy. Every morning he tries to sneak by the classroom without me seeing him. "Aaron are you hiding from me?" "YES!" I'll ask him the simplest thing, "Aaron do you want to help hand out pencils?" He will joyfully scream, " Yes!" and bound towards me full force. When another student wins the monthly Best English Speaker and Best Manners he breaks down in tears because he is so sad. It's hard to explain to a 5 year old that everyone gets a turn winning the award even though we all speak English. He is an abundance of emotion. I love him so.

Aaron on our first field trip as a class.

Who can forget Amy who moved away half way through the year? I was so sad. This sounds so horrible but she loved me first plus she was the cutest so that's why I loved her. She was the youngest of all of them but she trusted me first. She participated, sang songs, did all the things to get everyone going. I could rely on her to be the ring leader and soon everyone wanted to catch up to her. In one parent-teacher conference "SueMom" referred to Amy as Sue's rival and asked how she could surpass her. I gave my diplomatic answer but in my heart I screamed, "No one will surpass Amy!" Haha! That is how competitive it is here. These kids are 5 and their parents are talking about rivalries. 

She is cooler than you and she knows it.

I learned so much about myself this year. Part of me wants to go home to Canada and teach pre-school. Then I think about how stressful it is. It is stressful here because of the lack of communication, pressure for excellence, and language/cultural barriers. I wouldn't face all of the same things at home, but there would be new challenges and I don't know if I want them. I love doing circle time and singing songs with them. If I could somehow do that all day and get paid well, I would. But I'm doubtful. The glee that Peanut Butter Jelly puts in their hearts makes me squeal! 

A pic of the class at the year end performance. They did The Sound of Music. Yes, these are the costumes the Korean staff chose to represent the Von Trapp family. Don't ask.

Jay's birthday. Aaron on the left pulling up his shorts!

I hope I never forget these kids. Luckily, Caitlin is teaching them next year so I can beg her for pictures and watch them grow up, at least for another year! 

I love how much they love to read. 

Jay's disheveled uniform

Derek's big eyes! He's gonna be a heart breaker.

As I write this I have 19 days left in Korea and 14 teaching days. Ah!!! Again, I want to thank all of you back in Canada and here in Korea who have helped me along the way. It was not easy, but it was worth it!

Lots of love,

Alli

What a Difference A Year Makes

I will never have another year like 2017. There is no possible way when I look back at all that happened. It's almost maddening. I'll try to put it in a book and publish it and make millions on this ridiculous story. They'll probably find it so unbelievable that they'll put it through all the fact checks thinking they've found the next A Million Little Pieces. Haha!

Before I left to come to South Korea I would sit with my friends and joke about:
- Can you imagine if I meet a guy there? What if I meet my husband?
- I won't get married there, we will still come back to Canada and get married

My Chinese co-worker suggested I go to China for vacation. I pretty much blew that idea off - China just wasn't my idea of a vacation. I was looking for more beachy places like Thailand or Bali.

On New Years Eve I was reflecting with friends and I yelled out "I don't want a million dollars!" just to make sure that last thing I said in 2017 might still come true.

At the end of January 2017 I hopped on an Air Canada jet to Seoul where all I knew is that a driver for the school would meet me at the airport. I found a man holding a sign with my name and hopped in his unmarked black van. Evening came and I was dropped off at what appeared to be an office building with the school name out front. He took my luggage out of the van and walked me upstairs to the office where I briefly met the principal and some ladies in the office. The van thought he was dropping me off there to live. No, we all hopped back in the van and he drove me to a hotel beside my apartment. Again this is all in the dark. They handed me my luggage and that was it. I was expected to be at school the next morning. I quietly asked where I could eat some food and if someone could help me get to school the next morning since we drove windy streets in the dark. Luckily the principal took me out for a local Uijeongbu dish called budaejigae which is just a big pot of anything you throw in it. It's a camp stew from the war. This particular one had broth, ramen noodles, chunks of steak, chunks of hot dog, tofu, and vegetables. Not a great introduction for me. He kept putting more and more in my bowl. I kept saying: just noodles! I survived, made my way to school the next day, and here I am over 11 months later packing up to head home at the end of the month.

Remember those first few days here when I didn't sleep and I wanted to come home? After I got my wits about me I was less embarrassed and became more focused to help those in their first few days like me. The teachers who helped me really got me through that rough patch: offering me tea, taking me out for meals, showing me around town, literally letting me tag along to their hair cut appointments because I needed to get out.

Me, Danielle (Alaska), Katy (Lethbridge)

With Jessica (Kentucky)

In February I started feeling comfortable heading out on my own. I visited the Coex Aquarium and Gyeongbokgung Palace in Seoul.

Jacklyn (Edmonton)

In March I met my friend Jean, celebrated my birthday, went on a strawberry picking tour, and went on a temple stay to Sudeoksa Temple.

Birthday with school staff

Birthday dinner of fried chicken with friends!

Lotus flower I made for temple prayer

#MonkLife

Jean and I at the end of the temple stay

In April things really took a turn. Spring had sprung in Korea. The cherry blossoms were in full effect. I went out to see them twice with friends I met on the temple stay. Then I went on a tour of The Garden of Morning Calm and Nami Island with another friend I met on the temple stay. On the way to meet the tour I spotted a handsome man on the subway, gave him my contact information, and you know the rest.

Me, Dawn (USA),  her Korean friend

With Marilyn (Florida) on a boat to Nami Island

From our first date at Durga (Indian food)

His infamous Roughriders jersey

10 days after we met he headed home to Nigeria for a month. 

We had a long weekend in May so Katy, Danielle and I went away to Ulsan. My main goal there was to have a beach day and we soaked it in! I also went on my first segway!

Kenneth was back in June and we got to spend a lot of time together because he didn't start working right as he came back. I value that time because we really solidified our relationship then, got to know each other really well and fell in love. It also was getting to be quite hot here so we could spend a lot of time outside!

One of the dresses Kenneth brought back for me

Our love happened fast and even though I was still in the middle of my contract, we knew we had to get the ball rolling for our future. How would we be together? Where would we live? Those are big questions that had simple answers. We would start the immigration process to have him move to Canada with me. So . . . . we eloped! (Some of you know this, I imagine most of you suspected this, and some of you are shocked. And some of you don't care.) We slipped out of work early on a quiet Monday to the city hall and tied the knot. In fact, Caitlin took our engagement photos after we were already married. We will still have a wedding back home in Edmonton.

Kenneth's dowry to me: an onion. I needed one for cooking the next day and he

had a large bag of them so he brought one for me.

In the cab on the way there

Did I wear my croc sandals to get married? Yes.

Romantic dinner after

A week later we went to Jeju Island for our secret honeymoon!

To be honest, August - November kind of just rolled together. Fall was beautiful. We spent most of our time gathering documents and applying for Kenneth to become a Permanent Resident of Canada (which is still in progress). Caitlin took our "engagement photos" in October, which is a real highlight of my time here in Korea. She did an amazing job and we can't thank her enough!

Lantern Festival in November

Another fun blip in those months was the week Caitlin and I went to Beijing for the Chuseok holiday. There is one main reason to go and that is the Great Wall of China. It's hard to put into words!

Caitlin (Iowa) and me on the way to Beijing!

December was full of anticipation for Christmas vacation to Nigeria. I was nervous and excited. I'm so glad I went and got to meet Kenneth's people!

What a year! I went to two continents! I made friends from all over the world! I met and married the love of my life! And now we are planning the relocation process to Edmonton. Who am I? Whose life is this? Ahhh!!!

It was an exciting year but I'm also looking forward to a bit of some normalcy (my normal) back in Edmonton. I have not baked anything in a year. I want to make cookies! I want to drive a car! Small things matter.

Thanks for sticking by me and supporting me both near and far. I honestly would have left in that first week if not for your support. 

Cheers!

Love Alli

Me, Katy, Caitlin, Frankie & Jesse (New York)